Thoughts on Mother's day

Eric and I went to a mall in Raleigh this afternoon to meet with/interview a DJ for our wedding. While there I couldn't help but notice just how many men were out at the mall with children in tow, sans women. Enough for me, a person who makes it a point NOT to notice much of anything dealing with children, to notice the oddity. I began to wonder if it was just a fluke. Perhaps today was National Chester-the-molester-takes-their-kid-to-the-mall day. I then remembered it was Mother's day. Funny how all a mother seems to want on this Mother's day is to NOT be a mother. Not deal with their kids. Not cook any meals. Not do any of the things for which this day was invented to give thanks for. Get rid of the kids, pawn them off on anyone willing to take 'em, right? Well good for you. Hear that silence? Feel the peace within the walls of your home as you drift easily out from your slumber and start your day with the peaceful tranquility that can only be achieved by having a house free from children. Ahhh....welcome to my world. I get that every single day. Jealous much?

In all seriousness, I know enough about what a mother has to go through to be a successful parent to know that there is no way in hell that you would ever catch me doing it. There are some people who would call me selfish, but make no mistake, there is ZERO selfish about taking care of oneself. No one else is going to do it. Selfish is having children then being unwilling to do what it takes to be an effective, loving parent.

I find it hard to believe that it has been 12 years since my own mom passed away. This was a woman who successfully and lovingly raised two children of her own to adulthood, then turned around and married a man with three young children and adopted us as her own. This is the woman who had already gone through the years of making chicken soup from scratch to ease the tummy of her sick little ones, to start doing it all over again. This was a woman who already dealt with first periods, first dates, broken hearts and broken bones. This was a woman who had already broken up countless sibling fights, cooked countless homemade meals and cleaned countless sinks full of dishes to turn around and go practically back to the starting line to do it all again with my brother my sister and myself. And she did it with such passion, gusto, and love, that it never once occurred to me that she never had to do any of it. I think of my mom every single day. I am thankful to have had her for the years that I did. Most of all I am eternally grateful for the mother that she was, but especially for the mom she didn't have to be. I love you mom. And give a shout out to dad for me too.