Target Audience is...me?

At some point in our lives we’ve all either been home sick from work or taken a stay-cation or had something come up that provided us the opportunity to have a gander at daytime TV commercials.  You know the ones I’m talking about.  The ones for trade/technical schools so you can learn refrigerator repair.  Oh, and don’t forget about all those commercials for lawyers who specialize in “Getting your disability claim approved”.  After all, “THEY MEAN BUSINESS”.  Those commercials are targeting a specific audience likely to be watching at that time.  Well, radio is no different, right?  During the course of the day, there will be commercials specifically targeted to the audience who might be listening at that time.  

When I listened to traditional morning radio during my commute to work, I would hear no fewer than 10 commercials for breakfast at McDonald’s.  Wouldn’t I love to try their new McGriddles and a nice hot cup of coco?  “Why yes”, I say as my car steers its way into the McD’s drive through, “Now that you mention it, I think some coco might be nice”.  Corporate commercial mission success: 1. Ilisa’s diet: 0.

I bought a Volvo last year and it came with Sirius XM satellite radio.  I fell in love immediately.  The majority of channels are commercial free.  That said, my two favorite channels, Raw Dawg and Blue Collar Radio (both comedy channels) have commercials.  Limited ones, but commercial’s nonetheless.  Just like any other outlet, they have a target audience.  The audience who listens to that genre. 

Now, I know what genre I’m NOT.  I’m certainly not looking for a disability claim, a payout from a car accident, a new trade school education, or the newest Swiffer mop that will miraculously get my house clean enough to give me enough time to ‘finally read a book’.  I just happened to have a day off and caught the commercial at that time.

However, I listen to the comedy channels religiously on my way to and from work.  They play the classics like George Carlin, Eddie Murphy, and Bill Cosby.  I really like the newer stuff too.  I’m a huge fan of Kathleen Madigan, John Pinette, Ralphie May, Ron White, and Bill Engvall.  The only thing that bothers me about these two stations in particular are the commercials.  They are geared solely towards men and are all about penis function and sex.  Seriously.  Every commercial is either for penis enhancement or enlargement, prostitution (trying ineffectively to disguise itself as another “dating” website), porn websites, and stores that sell sex toys. 

After several months of being bombarded with these commercials I’m beginning to have a complex.  These companies spend big money on research and development to ensure they are advertising to their target audience.  Obviously the predominant audience is the lonely, hard-up, male pervert.  Is there something wrong with me?  Could I really be a lonely, hard-up, male pervert in denial???

Fighting my obesity one step at at time...

A couple of posts ago, I was at a real low point in my efforts to lose weight.  I really felt like I was doing everything right and then some, but seeing zero results.  I increased my activity level by over a 1/3, and have been doing my workouts 9x per week.  40-45 minutes 5x per week and 40-45 minutes twice per day on Saturday and Sunday.   I’ve been doing this for two months and have lost a grand total of 1 pound.  And even that one pound is questionable.  Today the scale informed me that it was actually only ½ a pound.   On the bright side, I haven’t GAINED any more weight.   So there’s that.

Still, I bought the Fitbit which is basically a pedometer on crack, and it has really been key to keeping me honest and motivated.  I enjoy the progress and the little badges you earn for your workouts.   Between that and tracking my entire food intake on myfitnesspal.com, I know eventually this is going to work for me.  It just HAS to.  I never really ate poorly so food has never really been a battle.  Even so, I had been making an effort to eat even better.

I say all that to say this…this past Friday I had my annual PHA.   For those of you not in the military this is the annual physical that the military makes you do.  I was quite tickled at the results of my blood work.  My total cholesterol went down over 40 points, my triglycerides went down SIXTY points, and my vitamin D levels were back into the normal range for the first time in 5 years (only by 5 points but normal is normal dammit!)  Obviously I am doing SOMETHING right.  It’s been very difficult to work this hard and see no outwardly result for my effort.  But knowing that it’s doing me some good, even if it’s only on the inside, makes me happy. 

He did scold me about my weight though.  The funny thing about that whole discussion was that when he looked at my chart, he said, well, for your height you are at exactly where you need to be weight-wise.  Uh…what?   I said, um…doc, I’m obese.  He argued with me and said, nope, “…at 5 ‘ 7” you should be right at the 135 mark which is where you are.”  Now I KNOW this man looked at me, cause I was lookin’ at him when he was lookin’ at me.   But he was reading the chart and mistakenly thought that the chart said I was 5 foot 7 inches tall when in fact my height was just written out in inches which, in my case, is 57 inches.  He said, “oh, you’re right.  For your height you should really be less than 100 pounds.”   I’m not sure I completely agree with THAT number.  Unless of course I was 11 years old (the height of the average 11 year old American girl is my height).   I mean, really…my chest alone has to weigh 10 pounds.  To be honest, when I weigh 115 I’m smokin’ hot.    Methinks he didn’t account for the fact that I am an adult.

All that aside, I’m a hefty little fatty, and as hard as it is proving to go from the “obese” category into the “overweight” category, it’s an even LONGER journey from the “overweight” category into the “normal” weight category.   Eventually I’m going to get there though.  Me, my fitbit, and my lower cholesterol.  Yeeha.

Civility

I hired a woman to clean my house a couple of times per month.  I’ve been budgeting for this luxury for about the last 12 years or so.   Having grown up dirt-ass poor, this is something I don’t take lightly and is one of the reasons I work as hard as I do.  

I have been very fortunate that I have found really good, trustworthy, people to do this.  After all, these are people who get unrestricted access to my home.  I prefer to hire individuals as opposed to big cleaning companies (like Merry Maids or the like).  They are still licensed and insured, but you can really get to know the person providing the service since they are the only one who comes in.  After a time, they have all become part of my life.  The woman I hired here in Northern Virginia, Mirna, is no different.   She is wonderful, sweet, efficient, and I trust her completely in my home when I’m not there. 

Today we were talking about her schedule and making a few adjustments, and I pretty much told her that I didn't have a set preference for which days she comes by.  She knows how often I want her to come, and all I asked was that she send me a text the day before so I can leave her a check.   She was, what I thought, to be oddly grateful for the freedom to run her own schedule.  Then she thanked me for my “civility”.  I wish I could tell you that I was shocked.  But sadly, I wasn’t.  I just felt badly for her.

I have always been appalled by people who lack civility.  You know the type…it’s the person who can’t even manage to eek out a smile to the person taking the toll on the Turnpike.   My father’s last girlfriend was like that.  She would never say so much as a “thank you” to the waiter/waitress who refilled her water, or a simple “hello” the cashier at Target, even when one was initiated by them.  It used to make me nuts.  I would end up saying it for her.  A waitress would fill up her water glass and she would just give them an exasperated look.  I would say to the waitress “What she meant to say was, THANK YOU”.  For those who know me, I’m sure they are able to hear my tone.

My mother was a wonderful woman who imparted a very simple rule addressing this very thing.  She would say “Ilisa, a person who is nice to you but not nice to the waitress is not a nice person”.  She was so right.

I wish I could go to my wonderful Mirna’s other clients and tell them that they should be ashamed of themselves.   Tell them that their momma’s obviously didn't raise them right.  But I can’t.  It probably wouldn’t do any good anyway.   Still…shame on them.