As most of my posts often do, this one was born from my
scanning a headline. This one talking
about being married to a person whose political views differ from your own. While I believe that over the years we’ve
discovered that our view on some fundamental social issues are very similar,
our take on the other issues differ greatly.
Our opinions on the candidates themselves, the spin that most media
outlets put on the candidates that they cover and want/don’t want you to think
they support etc., also differ greatly.
Needless to say, this has caused some very sprightly
discussions. Arguments, if you will, in
the proper sense of the word. Now in the
realm of the argument structure, Eric has me at a severe disadvantage. I can usually keep up in the first 10 minutes
or so of back-and-forth. But he was the
state champ in debate (or something like that) and did it not only in high
school, but in college as well. Whereas
I am of the jump-up-and-down-flailing-my-arms-whilst-yelling-WELL-THAT’S-JUST-STUIPD-STUPID-STUPID-YOU-BIG-BUCKETHEAD
school of debate. If my dad was alive,
he’d tell you the same thing. My dad
always said that the lowest form of arguing was name-calling. He said
it was reserved for those who simply didn’t understand the issue, or lacked the
proper retort. Yeah, that pretty much sums
me up when it comes to politics. Even
though he made us play “The Devil’s Advocate” beginning when we were about 5,
all I really became was passionate.
Arms-a-flailing. Only winning
because people didn't wish to get caught in the hand-swinging-crossfire. And they would quit.
Granted, my arguments could be much more effective if I
really cared to read deeply into the political arguments put forth by our
candidates. Don’t get me wrong, I care
deeply about the issues, but I have little to no tolerance for politics. Politicians, car salesmen, real estate
agents. There is no difference to
me.
Being married to Eric, though, a highly talented debater who can always end by
agreeing to disagree, I learned the hard way that I cannot win a proper debate
with him. Even if I’m right (and I can FEEL it in my BONES!). I’m just not able to put forth a strong
enough argument in the subject of politics.
But that’s ok. In our short
number of years together spanning two presidential elections, I have learned an
important lesson: I've learned to stop
flailing. Because ultimately I love him,
and it doesn't matter. I've learned when I've reached the end of my ability-to-articulate rope, I stop. Because ultimately I love him, and it doesn't matter. I have learned to appreciate WHY
he feels how he does and go on with life.
Because ultimately I love him, and it doesn't matter. We share a bed, a home, a life and I love him. And he loves me. And ultimately, that is ALL that matters.
2 comments:
Well then, allow me to retort. On the issues, we agree probably 90%, we both voted for the same person for president, and yet, in a partisan environment that often forces one to take sides, we often find ourselves taking up the argument of opposing sides. While my feeling is often that, if you were more informed, we would agree, I understand and appreciate your passion. I always enjoy a good debate, and even where we disagree, we usually find a fair amount of common ground. I never expect to change anyone's mind in a debate, I believe you have to come to a position on your own, all I can do is point the way. In the end most of our disagreement comes down to how we prioritize issues and what sources we trust. As you say though, all that really matters though is that we have each other, and have enough live and respect to bridge any divide.
Great post, baby.
Big fan of the arms-a-flailin' style of debate, only because it's cute.
I went to a political-themed dinner last night. There was Obama food (collard greens and some African-style fare) and Romney food (Bay scallops, French fare for his mission work). Obama folks got wine but of course Romney folks had to stick with juice. Of course I crossed the aisle on that one.
We had an interesting discussion when it finally came around to politics. Being in California, most everyone here is a democrat. As one of 3 republicans in the room, I put forth gentle arguments about why I believe the way I do. The counter argument basically can be summed up like this - well, I don't know anything about "that" (unions, taxes, "fairness," handouts, etc), but I'm voting for Obama because I trust him.
So of course, I smiled and drank more wine.
Obama will be re-elected. I've been saying that for over a year. In the end, I don't believe it matters because the presidency has been owned by corporations for years. Besides, Obama and Romney don't really differ all that much on most issues - other than the fact that Romney eats babies for breakfast.
-Chuck
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