July 4th, December 25th, February 14th. We all think of the same thing when we hear these dates. I don’t have to tell you what those dates stand for. You already know. They are ingrained in our psyche. They are part of our culture.
I suppose in that regard, I am no different than everyone else. But that’s about as far as it goes for me. You see, I am not a ‘date’ person. As the woman-card flies from my grasp, I don’t remember “special” dates. Eric’s birthday, our anniversary…you know, the ones that would earn some pour soul a night on the couch for forgetting. I am simply one of those, I guess. Eric is a lot better with remembering dates than I am. He is kind enough to remind me that my birthday is approaching, or even our anniversary. Whereas for me a special ‘date’ can come and go and I am oblivious.
People always seem to remember important dates in their lives. The date he proposed. The date you got married. The date you lost a loved one. Heck, growing up in a Jewish household, we go so far as to have the lighting of the yahrzeit candle on the anniversary of a loved one’s death. Every year. It’s a nice sentiment with a logical purpose that I am familiar with and understand, I suppose. But I still don’t do it. I chose to remember as the memories naturally occur. Not via some forced additional day of mourning. It would just be yet ANOTHER date that I'd forget to remember.
I guess I've always just been the kind of person who remembers EVENTS. I can’t tell you the exact date that my dad passed away, or that Eric proposed, but I’ll bet that I can describe to you minute by minute of the event itself. Where I was, what I was doing, the time of day, the season, the order of events, everything leading up to the event and some things that took place after.
Not remembering the date it actually happened doesn't change the significance of the event for me. The first time Eric and I kissed was life-changing for me. Every now and again I think about it. It always makes me smile. And every now and then I tell him I’m thinking about it. Isn't that more important than hovering over some date on a calendar?
I suppose in that regard, I am no different than everyone else. But that’s about as far as it goes for me. You see, I am not a ‘date’ person. As the woman-card flies from my grasp, I don’t remember “special” dates. Eric’s birthday, our anniversary…you know, the ones that would earn some pour soul a night on the couch for forgetting. I am simply one of those, I guess. Eric is a lot better with remembering dates than I am. He is kind enough to remind me that my birthday is approaching, or even our anniversary. Whereas for me a special ‘date’ can come and go and I am oblivious.
People always seem to remember important dates in their lives. The date he proposed. The date you got married. The date you lost a loved one. Heck, growing up in a Jewish household, we go so far as to have the lighting of the yahrzeit candle on the anniversary of a loved one’s death. Every year. It’s a nice sentiment with a logical purpose that I am familiar with and understand, I suppose. But I still don’t do it. I chose to remember as the memories naturally occur. Not via some forced additional day of mourning. It would just be yet ANOTHER date that I'd forget to remember.
I guess I've always just been the kind of person who remembers EVENTS. I can’t tell you the exact date that my dad passed away, or that Eric proposed, but I’ll bet that I can describe to you minute by minute of the event itself. Where I was, what I was doing, the time of day, the season, the order of events, everything leading up to the event and some things that took place after.
Not remembering the date it actually happened doesn't change the significance of the event for me. The first time Eric and I kissed was life-changing for me. Every now and again I think about it. It always makes me smile. And every now and then I tell him I’m thinking about it. Isn't that more important than hovering over some date on a calendar?
2 comments:
Did you send out Save the Date cards for your wedding?? Because, then, that's ironic. As long as you remember around the time you got married, you're at least better than those who are completely oblivious that they are even married :)
I try like anything to remember dates cause I think I should. (which is a bullshit reason to do anything) but most of the time I forget too. I'm with ya sister!
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