As an introvert, I’ve never been a big fan of greetings. Giving or receiving. “Hello’s” “Good morning’s”, “Goodbye’s” “Congratulations” or whatever. Blah. I do it because it’s socially expected and there are certain things a person has to do in order to NOT be labeled as awkward, socially inept, or just downright rude.
My uncle Dan was one of the few people I have met in my lifetime who could get away with ignoring opening pleasantries (or any pleasantries, really). That’s mainly because he was a genius in other areas and saying something other than the direct point he was trying to get across was a waste of valuable time. I always got a kick out of it when he called me. The phone would ring, I’d pick up, say “hello?” and there’d be uncle Dan, “You need to buy 1000 shares of XXXX and sell 300 shares of YYY. Do it now.” *click!* I’m not sure he heard my “hello” and I think he’d hung up before I even had a chance to say “OK, goodbye.” This was ok. I knew he loved me. I understood him and all his eccentricities.
99% of the rest of the world is not like that and are not afforded the same privileges that Uncle Dan had, to be eccentric. Period. Most of all not the people in the building I work in.
Human nature causes our eyes to be drawn to whatever might be in a room or area that we enter. When you enter an elevator alone, your eyes are drawn to the buttons to push, and then you will reflexively watch the floor counter tick off the floors one by one until it’s time for your to get off. If you walk into that same elevator with other people in it…awkward! Now, you are fighting the natural instinct to pay attention to what is in the room WITH you and you have to FORCE yourself to look at, oh, ANYTHING else besides the person right next to you. It’s all good. You don’t know them, they don’t know you, you don’t really care how their day is going and you have no desire to share how your day is going with them. You just want to keep to yourself. It works out well. Don’t make eye contact and all is understood. Human nature.
We have long hallways at work. Just as you wouldn’t say “hi” to every one of the hundred people walking past you down the street in Manhattan, you wouldn’t say “hi” to every one walking past you in a hallway either. However, if you are walking past someone in a hallway of an office building, one for one, and your eyes, naturally drawn to the only other thing in the hallway, meet, connect, and stay there until such time as it becomes acceptable to say “hi”, nod, smile, or acknowledge in any other way, then you should do it. If you’re looking down, away, at your phone, or what have you, then fine. No acknowledgement necessary. Now for me, someone who really finds greetings unnecessary and generally “blah”, even I will acknowledge a person passing me by in the hallway in that instance. I cannot tell you how often it gets to the point where our physical proximity is close enough to socially require that I acknowledge with either a “hello”, a smile, a “good morning” or whatever, and the person while still looking directly at me, simply ignores my greeting. Not even so much as a smile. Looking right at me. At least 5 times per day this happens. Well you know what? I didn’t want to acknowledge your presence either. Fuck you, too.
5 comments:
That's why I love my cell phone. Avoids all hallway and elevator unpleasantries. I also walk really fast - it gives the impression I'm up to something important. Usually it's just going to the bathroom, but that's important, dammit.
-Chuck
Don't stoop to their level. Keep saying hello, 'mornin, how ya doin?, whatever.... you'll be surprised that eventually in time, they'll answer. Or they'll remember you as the chick who always said hello..... ;o)
Yeah, no I agree with your brother and not my mother. It IS awkward at times and I just don't feel the need to say anything, except a weird grimacing smile and we move on, quick enough. I, too, walk quickly, and the ordeal is over soon enough. However, my friend, now I'm wondering about all those times in the back hallway of Shady J clinic that you may or may not have felt forced to say hello to me...waving from 100 feet away before I EVER got close to you :) Is that an anomaly?? What's going on!? :) j/k, miss you!
It has never been in my nature to initiate the "hello" except when it would come off as rude not to, as in the situation I talked about. Generally speaking I'm the one who always wants to smack "the chick who always says hello". HA! Julie, I'm SURE if I didn't say hi it was a fast-walkin' thing or a left-my-glasses-in-my-office thing. Chuck, perhaps my fast-walking gives the impression that I am disinterested in "hello" so when I do feel forced into saying it, they are taken aback and have no time to process the response back? Nah. From now on, no response="fuck you too". Unless of course it's a General. They're excused. Funny, though, the Generals ALWAYS initiate the "hello". :)
I have to acknowledge people at my job, since I work in retail. My old job even had a "10 ft rule" where you had to smile, or say hello to every person within 10 ft of you. I do it at work with much difficulty, since I have Social Anxiety Disorder, and maybe only give a slight smile out in public. Funny how many of my customers think my greetings/smiles are genuine. Get lots of customer feedback saying what a friendly person I am. LOL! If they only knew how hard it is for me.
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