My brother just mentioned something on Facebook today about fairness. Along the lines of taxes and fiscal cliff jibber-jabber. He said “Something about the fairness thing always bugged him” and then linked to an article written by Scott Adams. I like Scott Adams. I even read the article. But this post isn't about that. This post is about MY take on fairness.
What’s wrong with fair? Perhaps I am confusing “fair” with “equality”, but I don’t think I really am. Even as a very young child, it would get stuck in my craw when something that was blatantly UN-fair was forced upon me. I was looking back at some old report cards from elementary school and there were one or two that mentioned my…ahem…shall we say…passion, for that which was fair. From basic childhood behavior to how we act as adults, what is fair is often times pretty cut and dry. If a child has a toy that belongs to them and another child wants to play with it, undoubtedly there will be a scrap-match. Usually ended by some adult talking about “Johnny, you should SHARE your toy”. Probably more because they are tired of listening to their precious little snowflakes squawking like banshees than out of a feeling of fairness. Either way, this leaves little Johnny frustrated and confused. Why would he be frustrated and confused you ask? Because it wasn't fair. It may have been NICE, but it wasn't fair. A six year old isn't going to be able to articulate the unfairness of the situation, but the beauty of being six is that they don’t have to. It’s instinctual. Human nature at its best. They KNOW it’s not fair. They even know why. But someone has taken that control from them and forced them to do something that doesn't pass the stupid-test.
As an adult the same principle applies. My brother has a nice Porsche. I sure would like to have that Porsche. But rather than go through 17-some-odd years of post high school education and countless years of practice to be able to afford to buy one for myself, I have decided that I don’t think it’s fair that HE has the Porsche and I don’t. I think he should give it to me. You know…share. All fair-like and whatnot. Then he can go buy another one for himself. What…you don’t think that would be fair? Ok. Maybe not. Sure would be NICE of him, though. Yes. Very brotherly of him indeed! It is Hanukkah after all…
4 comments:
Ha! Good freaking luck with that!
I think there is a difference between nice and fair, but I also think that, with respect to kids, there's often an element of the adult knowing that the kid who is supposed to be shared with might not be able to get those sort of toys themselves because of the parents' situation and that's influencing their use of the word "fair."
Then again, who knows? Some adults just like to boss kids around. :-)
In context to the Scott Adams blog, you're not really disagreeing with his point, just with the definition of fairness, which, as he points out, is easily hi-jacked.
I would have totally given you a Porsche, but, you see, I'm now a Porsche driver. Which, by definition, means I am now an asshole.
You even look at my Porsche, YOU DIE.
:-)
-Chuck
You know what I think is not fair? It's that my sister and my brother never even mentioned giving the Porche to me! I could blame middle child syndrome but that would not be fair. It should be given to me because you feel guilty for not even thinking about me! Please don't forget the big red bow when you drop it off :)
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