Happiness is a box from Sephora!

The people who know me know that I am not the epitome of femininity.  I do not exude woman-hood by any stretch of the imagination.   Be it because I am really small, or because I have non existent man-lips, or maybe it is because during my formidable years I was raised primarily by my father who was simply clueless as to what it took to raise a female.  Maybe it’s because my skin is so sensitive that I have a reaction to anything I put on it that isn’t just plain ol’ Irish Spring.  I don’t know.  Could just be the way I was born.  I could have had Princess Diana as my guide to womanhood and still not taken to the whole song and dance of makeup, heals and accessorizing.   

 

Even with all that being true, there are still some things about me that are undoubtedly female:  I love my pedicures, I would never wear a t-shirt for anything other than working out or mowing my lawn, I have grown to believe that Nordstroms is THE only place to shop for shoes and of course, I love getting a box o’goddies from Sephora.  Now I know for someone like me, who claims to be one of the most unfeminine heterosexual females on the planet, to love getting a box in the mail from Sephora , (only one of the most female stores out there today), is so contradictory that one may feel I am mistaken about who I truly am.  Believe me, I am not.  You see, I am a feminine wannabe. I would love to be one of those women who wear makeup every day, have a great tan, change purses with every outift and wears bracelets and necklaes.  But I am not.  I just don't have it in me.  

 

However, Sephora is one of my exceptions.  When I lived back in South Florida, we had Sephora stores and I would always go there.  The home of the Grapeseed body wash, MAC makeup, and every perfume, shower gel, hair product and stuff that just smells good, that you can imagine.  Here in Bossier City, no Sephora.  So I go online to buy my goodies.  It really is just as good as going into the store itself, with the exception that you can’t smell any of the good stuff.   What’s even better is that you get all kinds of little samples of stuff along with your order that you can try out. 

 

I pulled into my driveway yesterday when I got home from work and saw that snazzy black and white box on my doorstep and I found myself dancing in my driver’s seat!  Woo hoo! My Sephora stuff arrived!  I just love the way the stuff is wrapped all pretty-like!  I am like a kid in a candy store.  You buy one or two items and your box has like five things in it!  It’s always great to get it on a Friday too I’ll tell ya, because I get to try everything out, and, no doubt, have time to clear up from the allergic reaction I am sure to get from at least some of the stuff before I have to go back to work on Monday.  Sometimes, like this time, I don’t have an allergic reaction to ANY of it! Of course, I have only tried two things so far.   In this box there is a sample of lip-plumping serum.  I am going to try that one out tonight.  I hope 24 hours is enough time for the swelling to go down if needbe…

I just love the Air Force!

I had the greatest Air Force day yesterday!  The base Company Grade Officer (CGO) counsel set up a tour of one of our Bomb Wings. For those of you who are civilians, this is probably a good time for me to describe to you the difference between the “Line” of the Air Force and what I do.  I am part of a group of Air Force officers that fall into a category of Commissioned Officers.  We are officers that come into the military already commissioned by virtue of our education and specialty.  The only officers who fall into this category are lawyers (JAG officers), chaplains and medical officers (doctors, RN’s biologists, Medical Service Corps officers (me) etc.).  All other officers and enlisted personnel fall under what is known as the Line of the Air Force.  This would be your fighter pilots, navigators, cops, maintainers etc. What this means is that the people in my capacity who push papers and handle millions of dollars in budgets don’t get to see any of the good stuff! The stuff that most civilians think the entire Air Force is made up of.   

 

Well yesterday, as I said earlier, the CGO which is made up of officers, both Line and specialty who fall under the grade of Lieutenant to Captain, got to go on this tour of the Bomb Wing.  We got to go play in a classroom where they teach pilots to fly a B-52! (I recommend google’ing if you don’t know what a B-52 is so you can get an idea of what I am talking about)  We also go to go inside an actual real live one!  I got to sit in the pilot’s seat!!  Chicks in control, man!  Our tour guide on this awesome journey, a Major by the name of “Killer”, was getting a kick out ofall of us playing around inthe aircraft. I couldn’t see out the window because I was too short, but I didn’t care at all!  There were several areas on the tour where Killer said, “I realize that this some of this stuff is boring…” and myself and one of my colleagues, Wendy, looked at each other and said “RIGHT…like ANY of this is boring!!”  We were so excited. 

 

I know where I fit in the Air Force.  I fully understand the job I do and my impact on the success of the Air Force mission and I appreciate it.  I love what I do.  But MAN that was SO cool yesterday!  To meet a few of the men who ARE the Air Force! The pilots, the navigators, the maintainers.   They have a tough job, too, I’ll tell ya.  It is cramped, hot, old and dirty in one of those “BUFFs”.  They spend hours and hours in them at a time.  I have a whole new respect for those guys.  I am glad they do what they do, because as cool as it was yesterday, I wouldn’t want their job for any amount of money in the world.

Idiots, I say! All of them!

This would be really funny if it wasn’t so pathetic.  Give me a moment whilst I go get my soapbox… Alright, I am back and perched happily atop its sturdy frame!

 

I am on an address list of a website that has email traffic from people who graduated from my high school during the eighties.  This is not "Classmates" or "Reunion.com" or anything like that.  It’s just a sort of blog-type site that has different groups on it.  I am really not sure how I got on the email list, but I am there.  So be it.  90% of the time I delete the emails without ever reading them.  Yesterday, for whatever reason, I read one of the emails.   

 

It was written by a female who graduated in ’83, I think, and she was replying to a previous post commiserating with other parents.  Basically about how horrible it is to be a parent.  Whatever.  The part that killed me, is she wrote the following sentence exactly like this:  “And yes things are very different now then when we were kids..but we RESEPCTED anyone who was older, children now a days do not I repete do not have this trate.”

 

I actually cut and pasted it so you wouldn't think I was making it up.  As if that isn’t bad enough, she follows it up by saying she is a nursery school ‘teacher’ to 65 children a week.  I have some news for you, there is a very distinct difference between a typo and being a complete idiot.  This was not simply a case of “hte” for the, or “hsa” for has.  This is a woman who ‘teaches 65 children a week’.  I have more news for you there…you are a babysitter.  There has yet to be a single state in the Union that requires a nursery school child to pass a state exam upon completion of nursery school to go on to kindergarten.  Matter of fact, there isn’t a single state that requires attendance in nursery school!  Additionally this person shouldn’t be allowed to teach obedience to dogs, let alone anything to children.  Not a single properly used comma in the sentence (which, by the way, she started with the word “And”). 

 

Tell me, what is the deal with “repete”?  It could be a knockoff skit from “The Newhart” show…This is my brother Pete and this is my other brother Re-pete”.   You could do a “My Name is Earl” sketch on having “trater tots” back at the trailer park with your supper.

 

I realize that I can’t change the world, and getting all riled up about it won’t make it better.  I also know that I am not the most grammatically correct person in the world.  I am sure I have misused a comma here and there in this post alone.  The difference is, I know my weaknesses and by golly I am at least smart enough to use the "spell check".

Venting my frustrations

As much as I love what I do for a living, sometimes things become unpleasant.  There are all kinds of leadership-isms out there:  “10% of your people do 90% of the work”  “10% of your people cause 90% of your headaches” and so on and so forth.  I am the head of a department that has three distinctly different branches.  There are about 35 people total in the department.  I have to say that I feel fortunate that the majority of the people are good.  However, there is a severe problem with one. 

 

In a nutshell, this individual stole $1200 from their corporate credit card.  This person was still in their probationary period of employment in the civilian sector of my department and I made the decision to fire them.  If this was an active duty military member, they would have gone to jail.  As a civilian, though, this person had the right to accept the termination or resign in lieu of being fired.  This person chose to resign of their own free will rather than be fired.   That should have been the end of it.  It wasn’t.   This person has attempted to file suit against me and our commander for everything under the sun.  It has dragged on for 2 months now. 

 

I believe that a person has the right to defend themselves but there is really nothing to defend here.  This individual stole $1200, got caught and quit her job.  The accusations have been for everythingfrom violating privacy rights to racism.   So far, all the allegations have been deemed unfounded by outside investigators and the powers that be (way above my level).  The frustrating part is that I have to defend myself over and over and over again for something that is so cut and dry.  The attempts on behalf of this individual to steer all eyes away from the truth is madding.  I am finding myself discouraged and disheartened and I am tired of having to fight this hard.   

 

My boss, who is in this with me, reassures me that he has seen this kind of thing before and that the only reason why I am so frustrated is because I don’t have the same level of experience with these types of situations that he has seen over the years.  He is probably right.  But it sucks to be falsely accused nonetheless.  It’s very Shawshank.

The final 25

Well, here they are, the final 25.  These last 25 were much harder to come up with than I thought they would be.  I think it's not that I couldn't think of 25 more things, but trying to come up with 25 more INTERESTING things is a different story.  I think 100 may have been a bit much.  I should have gone with 50.  But, here they are, nonetheless, as promised. 

25.  I have a tiny tattoo

24.  I have a belly ring.

23.  I have done my own plumbing and floor installation.

22.  I know how to change my own oil, but I will always pay someone else to do it.

21.  I will always mow my own lawn.  It’s great exercise!!

20.  I am a realist, and that is often confused with being a pessimist.

19.  I loathe taking pills/medicine for anything. 

18.  If there was a magic weight loss pill, I could probably get over # 19.

17.  I believe that if I chose not to go to work full time I, too, would be homeless.

16.  I love the way the sunrise looks in Texas.

15.  One of my favorite childhood memories was apple picking in upstate New York.

14.  The best tap water I have ever tasted was at my Aunt Pearls house in White Plains.

13.  When I am embarrassed I turn so red that people around me can’t help but point it out.

12.  I don’t know anyone who has ever spent any time in jail.

11.  I feel like I could benefit from Yoga, if I ever took the time to do it regularly.

10.  My favorite number is 28

09.  My favorite color is purple

08.  Every time I have cherry flavored Kool-aid, I am transported right back to childhood.

07.  I am the lone green-eyed member of an entirely brown-eyed family.

06.  My brother and sister used to use #07 to attempt to convince me that I was adopted.

05.  Getting older doesn't bother me in the least.

04.  I wish I could have Nova and cream cheese on a bagel for breakfast every day.

03.  I wish I could find a place here to have Nova and cream cheese on a bagel even once.

02.  I have wished for aliens from outer space to come and take me away.

01.  I would never ever want to be famous.

 

 

# 49-26

49.  I have flown to NY on a whim because I had a craving for pizza.

48.  I was over 30 the first time I cried during a movie.

47.  My favorite dessert is cheesecake with an oreo cookie crust and chocolate sauce

46.  I have never had a headache

45.  I have never broken a bone

44.  I have never had stitches

43.  The movie Dirty Rotten Scoundrels makes me howl every time I watch it.

42.  I have a garage and every time it rains when I am carrying my groceries into the house I am thankful that I work hard and am responsible enough with my paycheck to be able to afford a house with a garage.

41.  Myself, and a male who shall remain nameless, proclaimed ourselves members of the “mile high club” because we…enjoyed each others company… on top of  tower two of the World Trade Center.

40.  One of the coolest moments in my life was the first time I heard music “in stereo” through the headset of a Walkman.  I kept looking around from side to side saying “whoa…whoa!”

39.  I thought “Iceman” was way hotter than “Maverick”

38.  My sister in law Michelle is the most influential woman in my life.

37.  Although I shouldn’t, I do think fighter pilots are hot.

35.  I thought I was the coolest person when I bought my own fax machine.

34.  If I weighed 88 pounds I would STILL have a BMI of 20.

33.  #34 haunts me every single day.

32.  As successful as I have been academically I still fear failure.

31.  I have two true phobia’s:  water and spiders.  Holy ick.

30.  The last movie I saw in an actual movie theater was Titanic in 1997

29.  My biggest accomplishment to date was getting my bachelor’s degree.

28.  I never ever shop at Wal-Mart

27.  I can’t stand listening to actors who preach politics in public forums.

26.  I am addicted to Starbucks hot chocolate.  I am on my way there right now…

 

Next up…the final 25!